Ten day cruise to Alaska today!! Hehe. I’m pretty excited to be on the boat, but I’m not so sure about being in Alaska… Because when I think of Alaska I think of polar bears, snow, and fishing. And that’s pretty damn boring. When my parents said Alaska a couple months ago I thought it was the funniest joke they ever said until we actually bought tickets. TROLOLOLOLOLOL....
normal people: popular in real life
weird people: popular on tumblr
me: unpopular in real life and tumblr
thatfunnyblog: MY MOM TOLD ME SHE WOULD BUY ME GRAPES BUT SHE LIED TO ME AND BOUGHT CHERRIES AND I HATE CHERRIES SO I POURED SOME OF THEM DOWN THE ICE DISPENSER SO WHEN SHE GOES TO GET ICE THE FRIDGE WILL LIE TO HER AND GIVE HER CHERRIES INSTEAD LIKE SHE DID TO ME Wanna LAUGH OUT LOUD?!
Captain Jack Harkness: hey i just met you
Captain Jack Harkness: and this is crazy bu-
The Doctor: NO.
The Doctor: STOP IT.
Police: "Tumblr, you're under arrest."
mycroft-winchester: alangwiggy: quenchiestcactusjuice: life-imitates-art: gokuma: sageoflogic: miss-lizzifer: oh-mystarisfading: Whovians: Sherlockians: Potterheads: XMFC fandom: Supernatural fandom: Avatar fandom: The Hunger Games fandom: The Avengers fandom:
mellarkia: do you ever wonder if people could watch your life on tv who they’d ship you with
shavingryansprivates: one time i got my hair cut and the lady wanted to put my name in the computer in case i came back later and i said stephen and she put in steven and i said with a ph and then when i came back the lady who looked up my name told me i was put in the computer as stevenph
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug. i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat am i a bad person
meggannn: tahyesimo: bootycallfish: I’M WATCHING DEADLIEST CATCH AND THIS GUY JUST PUNCHED A FISH IN THE FACE WHO PUNCHES A FISH Motherfucking Zhao
ludacrisnt: my friend found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and so they went on a date today and she just stared into space for a few seconds and then said “i had a vision” and then paused and said “it was that we weren’t in a relationship anymore” and then just stood up and walked out.
Parents: Who are you texting?
Parents: Who are you calling?
Parents: Who are you chatting with?
Me: Jake from State Farm
How to decide who to unfriend on Facebook →
tonystarkoneliners: mortalisconsecrat: afroxvxgrrrl: cyberbully4life: this was the funniest thing ever holy shit Wow. I’m crying HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT
friend: what do you even do on tumblr?
friend: what, like reblog pics and that's it?
me: you don't understand.
Mom: I wish I was as pretty as you when I was your age!
Parents Friends: How many boys do you have chasing after you now?
Grandparents: Look at our beautiful granddaughter! How many hearts have you broken this week?
School: Someone touch it with a stick so we know it doesn't bite.